When I say vision what is the first thing you think of? If I guess correctly, you’re probably thinking of the physical ability to see something in front of you. Well I’d like to tell you a story about my vision.
I grew up spending quite a few of my summers at my Granny’s house in Kentucky. In a small town where if you don’t send you’re kids to bible school, well you’re just doing life wrong. One summer in particular stands out the most however. My Grandmother, my cousin, a few uncles, and myself went fishing and upon returning home everyone started unloading the coolers filled to the brim with catfish. My 7 year old self wanted nothing to do with that and decided I was better off inside. I walked into what I will always remember as my Granny’s house and sat on the couch in the living room. After a few minutes I walked back outside where I grabbed my cousin and we walked inside to play. No sooner than we walked through the door I hear my cousin scream “ahhhh Granny get in here.” I turned to my right to see what the big deal was. At the moment I thought my 7 years of life had come to an end. There in the hallway that I had walked by three times, was a rattle snake curled up with a huge rat in its mouth. Blood was dripping on the tile. The men came in and chopped it up and all was good. Looking back on this I realize I was wearing blinders. Tunnel vision some might say.
Fast forward about 5 years, I was 12 and if you asked me where I wanted to be in 10 years I would have told you in college getting a psychology degree. I was dead set on this and nothing could change my mind. Around this same time my sister called and told us she was expecting and wanted me and my mom to be there. So off we went to stay 3 weeks in Japan. Right before it was time for us to come home, my sister went into labor. My mom had me time her contractions and finally it was time to go to the hospital. Here I was met by a nurse who told me I was to young to see birth and wasn’t allowed in the room. My family didn’t take that very well and needless to say I got to stay. I remember being right there at my sister’s leg as everyone was telling her to push. Little did I know then that I had front row seats to the greatest show life has to offer. I wouldn’t fully understand the immense amount of strength and work my sister had been through until years later. It was truly a miracle, however with the hustle and bustle of the doctors and nurses after my niece was born, my blinders were placed back on.
Fast forward about 6 years, I found myself exactly where I wanted to be, in college going after a psychology degree. The only thing is that I was miserable. I had to tell myself daily “This is what you’ve always wanted” just to make it through all of my classes. I changed my minor into a different part of psychology and still nothing changed. Then my saving grace came. Two pink lines on a pregnancy test. I knew then that things had to change. Someone else would be looking up to me now. After trying to go back to school that spring, I was met with “I really don’t think you should come back when your due in the middle of the semester. I was beyond mad but accepted the advice and took time off and started working a new job in home health. This is where my blinders were slowly starting to come off. When I say I fell in love, I mean the type of love that makes you gag when you see it in a movie. I couldn’t imagine myself ever leaving the health field after that.
My water broke two days early and I found myself rushing to JCMC where I spent the next 15 hours in pain refusing any medicine. My phenomenal nurse was by my side the entire time but when she said I could either get the epidural now or have a c-section she became even more important to me as I was freaking out. This nurse did so much for me not just then but the whole time I was in labor. I was the inconvenient patient that is ready to push 15 minutes to shift change, but in she came with a huge smile on her face and stayed longer than she had to even though my new nurse was already taking care of me. I will forever look to her as a role model for everything I want to be. It wasn’t until I was laying there convinced that I was not going to make it through this labor and that I couldn’t and didn’t want to do this anymore, that my blinders were gone and my vision was 20/20. This was what I was meant to do. I needed to spend my life serving women in their most vulnerable time. I needed to be the same type of nurse I had, for someone else.
“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.” Rossa Beth Moss Kanter.